18 November 2018Last updated

Hot debate

Would you pop the question?

So you love him and want to marry him – what’s stopping you from getting down on one knee and popping the question yourself? We asked two readers for their opinions…

27 Apr 2015 | 12:00 am
  • Will you marry me?



Kelly Morriss, 33, British, and her partner met in Abu Dhabi and have been together for six months

Is it OK for a woman to propose a man? Of course it’s OK. However, would I propose a man I love? No way.

I am blessed with four brothers, so I’ve observed the boys-to-men transition. Most men naturally assume a leadership position with women. Great, because a good leader can provide the security and peace that are important to me – and, I’d suggest, are important to the majority of women. Men are also seeking peace and security. They are looking to secure more than just a piece of something that they have their hearts and minds set on.

So what do they have their hearts and minds set on? Something they perceive to be of high value. A ‘High Value Target’ can be anything from a piece of land to a beautiful woman who will love and honour him in every way – a wife. ‘High Value Targets’ do not ask for acceptance in the form of a proposal. ‘High Value Targets’ are revered and coveted. Men love to compete for them and love to win! Why would you, as a woman, want to deny the man you love the feeling of achievement that he gets when he has secured you and your love through his marriage proposal?

When I discussed this proposal topic with the amazing man in my life, he said something wonderful. He said, “She will nurture our babies, therefore she deserves the respect that comes with the proposal.”

I’ve realised that when a man is serious about a woman he will give her a special title. He will provide and protect. His actions will tell you where you stand and, hopefully, when the time is right, he will get down on one knee.


Reshma George, 28, Indian, and her husband got married in July 2010 after she proposed

Over centuries, the art of proposing has been perfected by men – but that doesn’t mean only men should propose. Although, in my experience, it does take a certain amount of ‘testosterone’ for a woman to do it instead.

We had been together for two years and I thought getting married would be the logical next step. But my partner, Tharun, was always shy, and the last person to speak his true feelings. I waited for him to propose. My birthday, the day we met, Valentine’s Day and all the other milestone days for engagements went by without any effort from my guy… that’s when I decided that it was time to take matters into my own hands. I went ahead and did the deed. And I’m happy to say, he accepted!

We women generally think that it is the man’s right and responsibility to propose. Absolute rubbish! In movies, women have always been put on a pedestal when it comes to love, and we have got it into our heads that we need to be pursued and begged to marry. But it’s time we realise that even men would like to be told that we are madly in love with them and want to spend our lives with them.

My now-husband was fine that I proposed to him – he’s said I made his life easy by doing so. When other people heard, some were shocked, some wondered why my sweetheart didn’t take the first step. But many women I knew were delighted that I proposed, truly exposing the power of a woman. Declaring love needs more power than declaring war. At the end of the day, who proposes isn’t what matters – it’s who lives happily ever after.